A reader asks ….

While your advice in attracting women is some of the best I’ve seen, the problem is that the problem doesn’t stop there. The real question is: How do you maintain that attraction and sex appeal when you enter a serious relationship where maybe the goal is to get married, have kids, buy a house, consolidate finances, and live the rest of the life like two responsible adults. What do men need to do to stay sexy to their committed women, while possibly working 10 hours a day and taking care of other daily responsibilities and duties.” – D

#1 Knowing what’s really important
Awesome question! Now, I’m going to highlight where I see the problem, “How do you maintain that attraction when you enter a serious relationship where maybe the goal is to get married, have kids, buy a house, consolidate finances and live the rest of the life like two responsible adults.” Since, when did the goal of any relationship lead to the marriage, the house, and the kids? Since, when does one need to “stop being in love” and get on with “being responsible”? Being in love and being responsible are not two separate things. I can just hear some of you rebutting what I just said. Maybe some of the things going through your mind are: “It’s not reasonable to just focus on the relationship”, or “I don’t have time”, or “There are more important things”, or “We have adult responsibilities!” So, allow me to let you in on a little secret: the key to a woman’s heart and the key to your own heart is that the TWO of you are continually putting each other first. That’s it. It’s that simple. It’s a minor detail which makes the biggest difference.

What I mean when I say “put each other first” is that each others happiness and fulfillment is the LIFEBLOOD of the relationship. This isn’t about being fair or equal. This isn’t about being 50-50 exchange. This is about both of you being 100% committed to each other and to the relationship you are building together. It’s about both of you “playing full out” or “not playing at all”. In fact, I would say that you owe it your marriage, and to your kids to be cultivating the best relationship possible with your partner. The truth is, it’s not the kids, the marriage, the house, or the career that gets in the way of an intimate relationship.

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